BBQ rain

What is it about my barbecue and rain? My neighbour barbecues every weekend and is absolutely guaranteed fine weather. I've seen him walk out in the middle of a storm and even before the cover's whisked off his BBQ the most torrential downpour turns into a small subjugated drip. Out comes the sun, his guests, the sausages and a sun drenched, relaxed, thoroughly unfair time is had by all. I'd try putting a sprinkler by the fence but I'd probably just end up with a burst water main!

Me? I'm considering a career as a weather man, not one of those friendly and pleasantly eccentric types you see in front of a map on the TV, no, I'll be the real thing. You want weather, well me and my trusty gas BBQ will give you weather, great fat wet globules of cloud delivered vertically to your garden.

August 10th 2003. Evesham was hot. Very hot. The sort of hot that makes you want to write in short black and white sentences narrated by Humphrey Bogart. In the middle of one of the hottest and sunniest periods on record, on the day that the highest temperature record was broken 3 times, I planned to have a barbecue. Pretty safe I thought, a nation melting, shops selling out of fans, half the UK population turning into lobsters, no respite in sight, set to continue well into next week - Phew what a scorcher' (Sun), 'Unseasonal heat continues' (Telegraph), 'Elvis found in camel' (Daily Sport).

But there was a cloud in Wales.

The guests would arrive in a few hours, the garden needed preparing. Paddling pool, no problem. First valve, no air going in, no problem. A sharp nail sorted out the first; the second, third and fourth fell to further deft thrusts, no problem. Wife pointed out that you have to squeeze valves at the base to let the air in, thanked her for the timely advice! Discovered over the next hour that the average child's paddling pool takes the combined lung capacity of a small herd of elephants to inflate.

The Welsh cloud moved.

Table out, chairs out, barbecue positioned and... then for the gazebo. Have you ever tried to erect a gazebo by yourself? Not the nice and easy ones with poles, the 'all in one' simple to put up variety with instructions translated from Japanese to Swedish, Swedish to Bolivian and then into English by a Russian émigré. 'Placed the pin over two above the pin hole and twist the other nicely'. Remember the heat? It didn't help.

Somewhere on the outskirts of Evesham a raindrop fell.

Garden prepared; food on the table; family arrives; 'doesn't the garden look nice'; 'I've got a gazebo like that, ever so easy to put up, aren't they'; 'you should have waited I've got a foot pump in the car that would blow that pool up in a second'; 'shouldn't you have started filling it with water by now?'
Pleasantries over, it was time for the main event, time to hook up the gas bottle and fire up the barbie. Burgers at the ready, tongs in hand, gas barbie instantly hot....

SPLASH

Not a drizzle, trickle, drip or pitter patter, in the middle of the hottest, driest, record breakingest time of year... my garden gave a remarkable impression of Niagara Falls (from the bottom). It gushed down!

You can tell a lot about a person from what they grab on the sprint to the door when threatened by 3 litres of water, per square meter, per second. Women grab food, men grab booze (just in case the tins get wet) and the kids head off into the garden grabbing badminton rackets. Me and my brother in law, another rugged barbecuer, remained stoically under the gazebo, ready to barbecue under adversity and under canvas.

FLASH ........ KERBOOOM

After a short pause for thought, we decided that standing under a metal framed gazebo during a violent electrical storm, although not strictly covered by the safety instruction 'not be using when you have bad wind', was probably not going to win us wide spread sympathy in the casualty ward.

Here's where we really appreciated the gas barbie. Ever tried moving a lit charcoal BBQ? Not a good idea! The gas BBQ was a cinch, just turn it off, cower in the garage for a bit while it cools and then simply relocate it to a more sheltered spot, turn it back on, ready to go! In no time at all a human chain of nieces and nephews were distributing some seriously tasty and not at all soggy BBQ morsels around the older, more lounge bound, members of the family.

I was left to reflect that the power cut that had just happened (and was going to last the rest of the day) had no effect on the party thanks to our trusty gas BBQ and ..... that my neighbour had gone away for the day!!!

Contributed by Jon from Evesham.

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